ALEX LANDRAGIN
  • stories
  • about
  • contact

The Dictionary of Romance

Airomance: A romance that begins in a place associated with travel or transit, especially a plane. See also Mile high club.
Bildungsromance: A formative romance in adolescence.
Blomance: (1) A romance that blows. (2) A romance in which there is an unusually high level of fellatio.
Bohomance: (1) A romance that develops primarily in hipster coffee shops. (2) A romance between two people who are attracted to each other for their bohemian qualities/lifestyles.
Bromance: A new, developing, non-romantic friendship between two men which is definitely not homosexual in any way whatsoever. At all.
Coromance: Two or more concurrent romances.
Dittomance: A romance that feels very much like a previous romance.
D'ohmance: A romance that can be described as nothing but  a gigantic mistake.
Doughmance: (1) A romance between two bakers (amateur or professional). (2) A romance in which the attraction is primarily financial (see also Ranchomance).
Down-lomance: A secret romance or affair.
Euromance: A romance in which one (and only one) partner is European.
Fauxmance: A nomance (see below) in which it is not yet understood that it will never work.
Flomance: A romance in which one or both partners (but usually the male) refuses to commit and insists both parties should just 'go with the flow'.
Foemance: A romance between two people who either already are, or are destined to become, enemies.
'Fromance: A romance when one or both partners sports an Afro.
Glomance: The beginning of a romance, during which period one or both partners can be said to be 'glowing'.
Gromance: A romance which one partner undertakes (usually with an older person) for reasons relating to personal growth.
Heromance: A romance in which one partner is motivated by the desire to 'save' the other.
Homance: A romance in which one or both partners feel that they are being used primarily for sexual purposes.
In-vitromance: A romance in which one or both partners is motivated primarily by the desire to have children.
Lomance: A romance that has a depressive effect.
Machomance: (1) A romance in which there is little or no emotional intimacy. (2) A romance with a misogynist.
Momance: A romance in which one or both partners have facial hair.
Mofomance: A romance in which one partner is attracted to the other person's  mother and/or family.
Nomance: A romance in which two people are attracted to one another but choose to become friends instead.
Owemance: A romance during which one partner keeps a running tab on what they are owed by the other.
Pomance: A romance in which both partners are financially disadvantaged.
Poemance: (1) A romance based on a mutual love of Romantic literature. (2) A romance between two goths.
Postmance: (1) An epistolary romance. (2) A period after the romance in which indifference reigns and sex is sporadic (see also: Marriage).
Promance: (1) A romance undertaken with a high degree of competence between two seasoned romantics. (2) Falling in love with a prostitute.
Quid-pro-quomance: A romance in which there is a clearly understood exchange of benefits of approximately equal value.
Ranchomance: A romance in which the attraction is, at least partly, based on real estate (see also Doughmance).
Romance: A type or quality of relationship that doesn't have to have a moon in the sky, or a blue lagoon standing by. But it helps.
Schmomance: A romance in which it is becoming, has always been or will become apparent to at least one partner that the other is a jerk.
Showmance: (1) A romance in which the couple is in constant conflict behind closed doors but the model of affection and tenderness in public. (2) A romance in which there is an imbalance of physical attractiveness between the partners. The unattractive partner will introduce the attractive partner to as many friends and family as possible, especially through the use of social media.
Slomance: A romance that is taking an unusually (and perhaps worryingly) long period of time to blossom.
Snowmance: A romance in which one partner provides the other with a regular supply of cocaine.
Taromance: An actual or potential romance about whose future one or both partners consult a psychic.
Toemance: A romance in which one or both partners can be said to be 'dipping their toe in the water'.
Towmance: A romance in which one partner feels that he/she is having to 'tow' or carry the weight of the other, often for mental health-related reasons.
Turbomance: A romance whose life cycle seems to be proceeding at an unusually rapid rate.
Whoamance: A romance in which one or both partners suddenly and perhaps unexpectedly experience a need to 'slow things down'.
Woemance: A romance that, most observers agree, is inevitably headed for disaster.
Yomance: A romance in which one or both partners refer to each other as 'yo'.
Yoyomance: A highly unstable romance.
Zeromance: (1) A romance in which there is no discernible chemistry between the partners. (2) A romantic attraction that has zero chance of becoming a romance.
Words & images © Alex Landragin 2017. All rights reserved.
Site design by Alex Landragin & Weebly